Nurse Knows all about you

A lot of masturbation addicts call me to have a little chat in which I tell them they are gay, or GAY! as I put it. Some of them are straight and some are bi. All of them, yes, are masturbation addicts. I describe to them the the tell-tale signs that everyone else has long recognized. Yes, they are the only ones who think that it is a secret that they are GAY!

All in good fun.

Who knows why someone would want that particular form of humiliation, or any type of humiliation, for that matter?

You can call me to discuss it in a little gay humiliation phone sex session, and I will laugh at you, because yes, You are GAY just for thinking about other men’s cocks.

I even have a gay humiliation mp3 recording on sale through Niteflirt.

I guess the answer is, whatever the owner wants it to be. Eep!

This video doesn’t necessarily seem to be loading properly anymore, so I will give a quick summary of what it was. This guy has apparently spent years injecting his genitals with silicone and turning them into a giant shapeless blob which can’t be used to fuck anymore.

But he is satisfied, because it was his goal to do this, and it’s different from anybody else’s.

Well, that’s for sure.

via videosift.com

Seriously. There’s a big problem with the marketing research these people have done.

Don’t forget to click through the video when you are done to see more of his video reviews of hilariously inappropriate toys and candies.

The whole slideshow

This photo was submitted to Digg.com. Hardly anybody understood what was going on. They thought he should break up with her, except for the guy who said he pays “good money” for this.

Are you A Niteflirt member who is missing Niteflirt? Did you finally find the Niteflirt site only to learn nothing but that it is going to be down for a while? Are you getting desperate to speak to your favorite Niteflirt girl, or maybe just to surf the Niteflirt category indexes?

Here’s the deal: Niteflirt has decided to completely redo www.niteflirt.com from the bottom up. The interface will stay mostly the same, at least for now, though there will be (besides bugs) some features that are conspicuously absent.

The issue is that www.niteflirt.com is no longer the Niteflirt URL you need to go to log in. The URL you need to go to is beta.niteflirt.com.

Last week when Niteflirt customer service told us we could take calls but Niteflirt wasn’t going to tell customers about the site, a few girls who had (more or less against the rules) collected emails and chatID’s for their customers managed to contact them and get them onto the site. For the rest of us, Niteflirt management told us we could invite select Niteflirt customers onto the site.

Without contact information, there was no way to reach our favorite Niteflirt customers. Niteflirt email no longer forwards text to outside recipients, so there was no way to get the URL to them.

So what could I do? I posted this info in several blogs. Then today I changed my Niteflirt membername to “Try beta dot niteflirt dot com”, so anyone who read the subject title would have a chance of finding the new Niteflirt site.

And I had an occasional Niteflirt customer who found the blog post by searching on my Niteflirt membername, who also was able to tell me during a call that he got the email!

We talked… well okay, he’s always a fun call. He puts on a Russian accent and we talk about him training for the stroking Olympics. We talked about all the different events he would have to train for.

Okay, now you can call me. KTHXBAI. Its busy, so skip the button and just go to beta.niteflirt.com and click one of those callbuttons right there on that homepage. Yup, that means you!

Talk to you soon.

The site has been down and under construction for days. I’m out of town for a while, so I can only work part time. But it’s time for you to log in and see if you can get the site to work for you. My old buttons won’t be working until I fix them (after I get home), but you can either log in at beta.niteflirt.com or by clicking this button:

Here’s a cute little video to get you in the mood.

Not just black, but why usually make them out of a heavier-weight lycra/spandex than tops.

So now you know. So if it ever comes up, buy the heavy black ones, the ones that aren’t so shiny.

Aw, c’mon. You know you wanted a closeup.

What can you say?

I offer a lot of “services” through Niteflirt, a company that I do much of my phone sex through as an indie operator. Some of my listings are for my role as “Unlicensed Sex Therapist School Nurse Svetlana”, which I originally concocted as a kind of a joke, in response to several “Licensed Sex Therapists” or “CSW’s” or whatever characters they were who pretended to give medical advice, strictly against the rules, besides being against the law. Hmm, some of those girls disappeared, their accounts deleted.

As an unlicensed sex therapist doing strictly fantasy work, I am not confined by any sort of ethical considerations. I am free to give admittedly bad advice to whoever calls. One of my favorites (and it’s a favorite of some of my customers, too) is my listing, “Unlicensed Sex Therapist seduces your wife”.

In the fantasy, the guy brings his wife in to get her some marriage counseling. He may have already come in on his own to discuss the situation with me. He is probably convinced that she doesn’t spend enough time paying attention to him. He wants me to tell her that she should be more sexual and more sexually adventurous.

I do tell her that, but somehow it doesn’t seem to work out exactly as he imagined it would.

What he’s not expecting is that during the counseling session his wife and I begin talking to each other as though he were not there. We speak as though we are longtime friends, and flirt with each other shamelessly. We end up sitting on the examining couch together and touch, exploring each other’s bodies.

Well, it can get pretty hot and heavy. Once the two of us left him in an unsatisfied state and went to take a shower together. Another time, my big black boyfriend showed up…and you can just imagine what happened.

It’s a lot more fun than seeing a Licensed Sex Therapist.

Lately I have been receiving calls from a couple of Niteflirt customers who are addicted to self-destruction. People who are like this tend to become addicted to whatever is bad for them, which means they may call for forced intoxication. They are generally addicted to porn. They are compulsive masturbators (but aren’t most guys anyway?). They enjoy the thrill of danger, and the deeper they sink down into the abyss, the more they crave the downward spiral.

So these two have become addicted to the sound of my voice, and called many times, enriching me, but at the same time keeping me from getting much sleep.

Niteflirt is a funny place. When a girl does a lot of transactions, her position gets bumped up so she is more visible, which means that, at least for a while, she ends up getting calls from customers who have never seen her before. This passes, and she will start to normalize again.

So besides these guys, I’ve been having some fucking weird callers lately. One guy called for a 2 minute castration. You don’t get more self-destructive than that. Seriously, I only had time to pull out one of his testicles. We were cut off before I could finish the job and sew him up. I would, of course have removed the extra loose skin of his scrotum. Who needs a ballsack when he has no balls? I wonder if he visited a virtual emergency ward to take care of the problem…

Another caller wanted to know what the room behind my examining room was. He asked if I took the naughty boys there, and I said yes.

He wasn’t helping me at all with where he wanted the fantasy to go, and I was damned tired. It was like 4:00 am. Then he asked me what I did with the naughty boys, I told him I cut off their balls. I guess that wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

Oops.