The Ultimate Commitment?

Cats: branding, compulsive masturbation, guided masturbation, penises| No Comments »

You may know from my Niteflirt listings that I specialize in hypnotic stroking sessions. I don’t call it hypnosis or use the word “hypnotic”, but that’s what they are, me reqeating a few key phrases in my naturally hypnotic voice, and perhaps the client experiencing a little bit of tranciness.

There are guys out there who find repetitiveness highly erotic. Some have their own key phrases, and some wish to follow mine. And some of those guys are looking for stroking sessions, where that’s what we talk about, stroking.

And then there are clients like my regular stroking and edging fan, who has decided what he really needs to do is roughen up the head of his penis in order to form a callous on it, to make it less sensitive. He loves to have me encouraging him to do this, sometimes for hours. But he came up with what would have to be an ultimate extreme idea.

He wants to brand the head of his penis with my initial. In fact, he tried to bend a paper clip to use, but ultimately was convinced that he needs to buy one of those little leatherworking branding irons to do the job right. So it had to be postponed while he purchased that item.

This is gonna hurt.

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"



The Nurse would like to talk to you about sex ed

Cats: abstinence, public health, Sex ed| No Comments »

It has come to the attention of the Nurse that right wing evangelicals and fundamentals are still laboring under the misapprehension that their kids will remain pure and without erotic desires, all of which (according to them) are perverted, just some more than others, if they do not receive accurate facts about sex in sex ed classes in school. Inaccurate info is apparently okay, especially when it consists of deliberate lies about reality, such as abstinence-only classes that increase the pregnancy rate.

Cut that shit out. You people are responsible for your own little population explosion among your own little middle-school aged believers, who blithely have sex without contraceptives, having been told that contraceptions are entirely ineffective, and hazardous to both your physical and moral health. Giving birth to multiple children while unmarried is apparently okay with them for their own kids, because Jesus will forgive them.

But letting their kids know about sex, especially that things like homosexuality or even “gateway activities” like hand-holding even exist, will lead their kids into perversion. And of course, right wingers are behind pro-bullying laws that make it legal for homophobes to bully anyone they perceive as having teh gay, simply because homophobia is a Christian value.

Yep. Let those kiddos sit in front of those televisions and watch sexy Hollywood shows. But they’ll be saved if they don’t get sex ed.

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"



Sarah Palin Camp Denounces ‘Lies’ In Joe McGinniss Book, ‘The Rogue’

Cats: Uncategorized| No Comments »


The fact is that Palin has never seen “Russia” from Alaska. She has never been to the godforsake­n island from which an unpopulate­d island belonging to Russia can be seen. Why, there are no luxury hotels, or even roads there! And there aren’t any white people who live there! Her name recognitio­n there is close to zero.
More on Sarah Palin
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"



Eel Swims Up Man’s Penis, Has To Be Surgically Removed

Cats: Uncategorized| No Comments »


Hopefully others will learn from his mistake. Whether or not he has.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"



India to offer Eunuchs Pension

Cats: castration| No Comments »

Yes, castration in the news!

It seems that castration is still practiced in India. Many were castrated as small children because of “deformed genitalia” (in other words they were born intersex). Others are effeminate males who are shunned by their families. It is unclear at what point those in the second category would have been castrated, but there is no indication they did it willingly.

The Municipal Corporation of Delhi is granting pensions to eunuchs, who have no job opportunity and would otherwise end up as street beggars. Eunuchs are considered to have some sort of sacred power (but not enough so that people will actually hire them).

There are 300,000 eunuchs in the Municipal Corporation of Delhi alone!

Times of Delhi story
More background on eunuchs in India

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"



A public safety announcement

Cats: News| No Comments »

Don’t.do.it. No really, don’t play with sex toys while you are driving. At.all.

Come on now people, use what little of your brain you have left.

Story

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"



Leisurely stroking session

Cats: guided masturbation, phone sex| No Comments »

Okay, so he was deleriously happy afterwards. But how can a guy imagine that 3 minutes is a leisurely stroking session? You know, some guys go 4 or 5 minutes. :)

Time for a reality check.

Now if you really want a leisurely stroking session with a powerful explosion at the end, I can fix you right up. If you want 3 minutes, I can take care of you, too.

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"



Recipe book for cum-eating masturbators

Cats: cum-eating| No Comments »

In the ongoing spirit of National Masturbation Month, here’s a rather unique recipe book.

Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!”

I think it is a novelty book. In fact, it’s only 61 pages long, and a review says that the recipes seem to contain cum only as an afterthought. Perhaps I could do a better job. Seriously, why bother with the recipes if they’ve hardly got any cum in them? Eating cum isn’t about good taste. That custard on the cover should be almost pure cum.

Right?

Do I have any volunteer recipe-testers?

Link

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"



It’s National Masturbation Month

Cats: health issues, masturbation| No Comments »

Are you doing your part?

Here’s a tip from Ernest Borgnine on longevity.

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"



Really stupid email

Cats: payment mail, stupid emails| No Comments »

For those of you who are not Niteflirt members, flirts (of which I am one) can send payment mail to customers. Customers can read a payment request mail and view the contents before deciding to pay. I use that for things like wishlists, because if they’re not shoppers they may find it easier just to send me a tribute. There are also “pay-to-view” emails, where the customer gets to view only a description before paying. My stories and mp3′s are set up as pay-to-view emails which can be purchased through Niteflirt.

Flirts can use a bulk mail feature to send these mails to everyone on their customer list or to only some customers. Some flirts abuse this and send out multiple mails every day. I prefer to let my customers decide what they want to buy by viewing my pages.

I woke up to find 5 bulk emails of the spam variety in my Niteflirt inbox from a flirt I had never heard of. The title of all of them was

“be lucky to see that , call yourSelf A sugarBitch and be proud to enjoy that movie,”

which besides being incomprehensible, is kind of weird, since “sugarBitch” is definitely not something I call myself. Since my specialty of late seems to be castration, I doubt many of my customers would see me as that, either. I suppose that a 1 in 5 chance of actually getting the video might be considered “luck” by some….

He had clicked at least one of my buttons (the Pathetic Male Game), which put me on his mailing list. So he decided that I would want to see a video of him playing with his pathetic weewee enough to spend $23.99 on a video of just that.

The problem was that the mails were sent up wrong. The first two were pay-to-views ror $20. There was no video attached. The third actually had the video attached, and was priced at $23.99. The last two were payment requests, with the message text “email the King if u like that ! ,”

Did I say I find it annoying when flirts spam me? Although I do think it’s funny that someone would not care that his customers would know he couldn’t set up payment mails properly and only got it right 1 out of 5 times.

I sent an email giving the project a FAIL rating.

He sent me back a reply:

dont tell me what is good or bad:) im better than u trust me /

and about those payments is niteflirt who mess all

thankx for warning

Uh, right. Niteflirt’s fault you fucked up. Sure. At least I know how to spell and make ptv’s that work. And had a huge night selling them without having to spam other flirts.

You need to call me NOW!

1-888-699-5789

$2.25 a minute with a 10 minute minimum
Have your credit, debit, or gift card ready when you call.
All calls discreetly billed as "Web-Tokens, Canton, GA"




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