Of course, like any counselor, I had to discuss his problem with him in detail before I could make suggestions. How else could I be sure that the advice I gave would be sufficiently bad?

And this was a guy who really needed bad advice. Not just a loser, but a loser. A guy who wears leotards to aerobics class. All the time. What kind of man is that? Not one at all.

He wasn’t even able to successfully put money in his account without being disconnected. And when he called me back, he couldn’t even call back on the same line. The one where I’m supposed to tell him he’s gay and scream at him what a sissy faggot whore his is, and how he was born to be on his knees in front of real men with real cocks, who would use and abuse him as he deserved. I did it anyway.

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