Cut that shit out. You people are responsible for your own little population explosion among your own little middle-school aged believers, who blithely have sex without contraceptives, having been told that contraceptions are entirely ineffective, and hazardous to both your physical and moral health. Giving birth to multiple children while unmarried is apparently okay with them for their own kids, because Jesus will forgive them.

But letting their kids know about sex, especially that things like homosexuality or even “gateway activities” like hand-holding even exist, will lead their kids into perversion. And of course, right wingers are behind pro-bullying laws that make it legal for homophobes to bully anyone they perceive as having teh gay, simply because homophobia is a Christian value.

Yep. Let those kiddos sit in front of those televisions and watch sexy Hollywood shows. But they’ll be saved if they don’t get sex ed.

It just goes to show you how gullible people can be. And we here at the Gold Star Academy of Discipline are ready to exploit that gullibility. By the time that our males are ready to be released again, they will be so convinced that they cannot live without being controlled by a woman that, well, they will have no choice but to follow her orders for the rest of their lives.

But here goes: for those of you who have been dying to take on the role of Abstinence Educators and teach the tricky subject of Abstinence in places like church Sunday school, day camp, and public schools, this is the opportunity for you.

An intrepid reporter with this very motivation figured out what it would take (a payment to a website to take a “test”), took the test without even reviewing any materials, and passed. She is now a “Certified Abstinence Educator”—and you can be, too!

Link

The problem with abstinence as a method of birth control is that it counts on elimination of sexual activity by those who are least able to resist the hormones coursing through their bloodstreams. It pretends that sexual desire is something that teens create for the purpose of inconveniencing their parents, rather than being an instinct intended by nature to guarantee perpetuation of the species in young and fertile specimens.

It does not help that abstinence education teaches that students should not use birth control. That seems to be the only lesson they learn in the class.

So first, let’s take a refreshing look at how one refreshingly honest student views abstinence-only sex education. Click to view the original and see lots of these sad-but-true funny tests.

You can clearly see how it has nurtured and magnified the blackness in his soul.

Now let’s think outside the box. The only abstinence-only program that will work is one that has some effect on reducing the effectiveness of the male part of the couple in convincing the female member to have sex. Finally, the best and brightest minds have looked at what works and come up with recommendations as to what a parent can do to keep their abstinence-educated son from knocking up a abstinence-educated girl.