Nurse knows all about you

It has come to the attention of the Nurse that right wing evangelicals and fundamentals are still laboring under the misapprehension that their kids will remain pure and without erotic desires, all of which (according to them) are perverted, just some more than others, if they do not receive accurate facts about sex in sex ed classes in school. Inaccurate info is apparently okay, especially when it consists of deliberate lies about reality, such as abstinence-only classes that increase the pregnancy rate.

Cut that shit out. You people are responsible for your own little population explosion among your own little middle-school aged believers, who blithely have sex without contraceptives, having been told that contraceptions are entirely ineffective, and hazardous to both your physical and moral health. Giving birth to multiple children while unmarried is apparently okay with them for their own kids, because Jesus will forgive them.

But letting their kids know about sex, especially that things like homosexuality or even “gateway activities” like hand-holding even exist, will lead their kids into perversion. And of course, right wingers are behind pro-bullying laws that make it legal for homophobes to bully anyone they perceive as having teh gay, simply because homophobia is a Christian value.

Yep. Let those kiddos sit in front of those televisions and watch sexy Hollywood shows. But they’ll be saved if they don’t get sex ed.

Yes, castration in the news!

It seems that castration is still practiced in India. Many were castrated as small children because of “deformed genitalia” (in other words they were born intersex). Others are effeminate males who are shunned by their families. It is unclear at what point those in the second category would have been castrated, but there is no indication they did it willingly.

The Municipal Corporation of Delhi is granting pensions to eunuchs, who have no job opportunity and would otherwise end up as street beggars. Eunuchs are considered to have some sort of sacred power (but not enough so that people will actually hire them).

There are 300,000 eunuchs in the Municipal Corporation of Delhi alone!

Times of Delhi story
More background on eunuchs in India

Don’t.do.it. No really, don’t play with sex toys while you are driving. At.all.

Come on now people, use what little of your brain you have left.

Story

Okay, so he was deleriously happy afterwards. But how can a guy imagine that 3 minutes is a leisurely stroking session? You know, some guys go 4 or 5 minutes.

Time for a reality check.

Now if you really want a leisurely stroking session with a powerful explosion at the end, I can fix you right up. If you want 3 minutes, I can take care of you, too.

In the ongoing spirit of National Masturbation Month, here’s a rather unique recipe book.

Natural Harvest – A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes

“Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients – you will love this cook book!”

I think it is a novelty book. In fact, it’s only 61 pages long, and a review says that the recipes seem to contain cum only as an afterthought. Perhaps I could do a better job. Seriously, why bother with the recipes if they’ve hardly got any cum in them? Eating cum isn’t about good taste. That custard on the cover should be almost pure cum.

Right?

Do I have any recipe-testers? (Must be able to cook and follow recipes…)

Link

Are you doing your part?

Here’s a tip from Ernest Borgnine on longevity.

I woke up to find 5 bulk emails of the spam variety in my inbox from a flirt I had never heard of. The title of all of them was

“be lucky to see that , call yourSelf A sugarBitch and be proud to enjoy that movie,”

which is kind of weird and incomprehensible, since “sugarBitch” is definitely not something I call myself. Since my specialty of late seems to be castration, I doubt many of my customers would see me as that, either. I suppose that a 1 in 5 chance of actually getting the video might be considered “luck” by some….

He had clicked at least one of my buttons (the Pathetic Male Game), which put me on his mailing list. So he decided that I would want to see a video of him playing with his pathetic weewee enough to spend $23.99 on a video of just that.

The problem was that the mails were sent up wrong. The first two were pay-to-views ror $20. There was no video attached. The third actually had the video attached, and was priced at $23.99. The last two were payment requests, with the message text “email the King if u like that ! ,”

Did I say I find it annoying when flirts spam me? Although I do think it’s funny that someone would not care that his customers would know he couldn’t set up payment mails properly and only got it right 1 out of 5 times.

I sent an email giving the project a FAIL rating.

He sent me back a reply:

dont tell me what is good or bad:) im better than u trust me /

and about those payments is niteflirt who mess all

thankx for warning

Uh, right. Niteflirt’s fault you fucked up. Sure. At least I know how to spell and make ptv’s that work. And had a huge night selling them without having to spam other flirts.

A lot of masturbation addicts call me to have a little chat in which I tell them they are gay, or GAY! as I put it. Some of them are straight and some are bi. All of them, yes, are masturbation addicts. I describe to them the the tell-tale signs that everyone else has long recognized. Yes, they are the only ones who think that it is a secret that they are GAY!

All in good fun.

Who knows why someone would want that particular form of humiliation, or any type of humiliation, for that matter?

You can call me to discuss it in a gay humiliation phone sex session and I will laugh at you, because yes, You are GAY just for thinking about other men’s cocks.

I even have a gay humiliation mp3 recording on sale through Niteflirt, too.

In this case, not necessarily for having sex.

They must have removed the video, so I will give a quick summary of what it was. This guy apparently spent years injecting his genitals with silicone and turning them into a giant shapeless blob which can’t be used to fuck anymore.

But he is satisfied, because it was his goal to be different, and his genitals are certainly different from anybody else’s.

That’s for sure.

Seriously. There’s a big problem with the marketing research these people have done.

Don’t forget to click through the video when you are done to see more of his video reviews of hilariously inappropriate toys and candies.

The whole slideshow